Originally Posted by nycindie
... beyond a sexy bedroom game. I know it's real and the way people choose to live, and I've thought about it a lot, but I have a very hard time understanding the benefits.
I'm like you in this, nycindie. I can in no way see how a 24/7 role playing game of the D/s type should not be seen as pathological. There, I said it.
The very core of my thinking on loving relationships has power equality in it, as fundamental. And we all fall short of perfection in that realm from time to time. But we have a target we're shooting after, an ideal we may miss when shooting that way, and we have something to try for. Other things share the core of my thinking about loving relationships, things about kindness, compassion, tenderness, warmth, affection, emotional supportiveness and so on. These are all aspects of the multi-faceted loving heart. When the heart lights up these are all obvious. When it is dim, we're stumbling round in the dark.
And, yes, all of those "soft" values I listed have their strength aspect. Tenderness is strength, and tender strength is good. And strength without tenderness? It is (often) force, or exploitation, or oppression ... which is not good.