I'd say it's unwise to expect that just because you love two people deeply that they will love each other the same. Humans don't work that way. They may hit it off and connect as strongly, they may only find a satisfying friendship. As long as it works, all is OK.
It's a problem only if they can't form a friendship. Toleration isn't a solution for the long term.
What you describe is a vee. My last amorata was straight, so she and my wife were friends, never lovers. Indeed, I don't ever look to end up in a triad, as the odds of finding someone who connects deeply with both of us are too slight to bother with. I simply look for good connections for me and my wife looks for good connections for her.
Last edited by AutumnalTone; 10-29-2009 at 03:22 AM.