Thread: My story
View Single Post
Old 09-30-2011, 04:42 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

It sounds to me like she just can't quite get past a monogamous way of thinking that tells her not to cross a certain boundary with a man who is YOUR husband. It doesn't sound like she doesn't want him; it sounds like she's afraid to have him, perhaps because it's "wrong" to her or she feels it would disrespect you somehow. So she focuses on others to take her mind off him.

But something else struck me about what you wrote:
Originally Posted by dreamyer View Post
Several years ago I came into my own as a bisexual woman. My husband has been very supportive. I've been free to have my own experiences. He's been free to join whenever my girl was willing.
So it sounds like you can do what you want and he participates if the woman "is willing," as you said (I have a personal dislike for calling women girls, sorry). You said it's been fun. Well, now, sometimes she's willing and other times not willing, so what's the issue here? Why should he pursue it? Why should she change? Did he stop letting it be a casual, from a "if it happens it happens" kind of thing to something where now he's expecting sex with her? Maybe she's feeling pressured in some way.

Sounds like hubs should get his own girlfriend(s) and leave you to yours.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-30-2011 at 04:49 PM.
Reply With Quote