Thread: Chips...
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Old 09-30-2011, 02:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gypsystarrs View Post
How do I reign in my jealously/hurt about not having any chips for me? How can I not see it as a personal affront that she doesn't have sex with me but will have sex with him?

Some insight would be fantastic. I am trying. I truly am. I'm just having a hard time right now.
Sheesh, I don't know but it does seem like a personal affront to me, I hate to say. It sounds like she's totally taking advantage of your good nature. You know, where's the excitement about having you back home, the "can't wait to see you again" racing pulse feelings? Instead she falls asleep with you after getting fucked by him. Crikey!

Hmm. Maybe she's decided she likes penises better now, or she's just not able to balance two relationships simultaneously. She seems to be very inconsiderate and insensitive about your feelings, AND she's putting the onus on you instead of accepting responsibility for her actions and examining her behavior. That sucks! The result is that now you think you have to make an adjustment and do something to avoid feeling the way you do, and to basically walk on eggshells around her, as if there's something wrong with you -- there's not!

You didn't say how long it's been going on, but you've definitely been dissed. Maybe the relationship has run its course and there's nothing more you can do. It doesn't seem like you would get anywhere if you put all the work into trying to fix things while she throws her hands up in the air in exasperation and hands you shitty excuses. I'm so sorry, that's just the way I see it.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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