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Old 09-30-2011, 01:35 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,474

Originally Posted by bassman View Post
Hi Magdlyn, my wife knows the woman, knows we flirt on the phone, but perhaps doesnt know all the details of exactly what was exchanged. So I suppose it was and wasnt (so its on the cheating scale somewhere I suppose, hopefully not up there with full sex?) it did do wonders for our sex life, and I'd really like her to enjoy that same experience, (with someone other than me).
But your wife would see it as "fornication" and "adultery." You've got a tough row to hoe there... not sure someone so "Christian" could ever be open to taking another male lover. However, there is no condemnation of lesbian sex in the Bible... and technically, nothing wrong with a man having 2 "wives/concubines."

We are stuck at the moment - we went to counselling at my suggestion. I thought I needed help to carefully open up about my sexual thoughts. The counsellor didnt seem that interested in me, and when she just gave me blank stare after I said "I'd like to share my sexual thoughts with my wife". I kinda confirmed that. The stupid counsellor didnt even turn up at the next meeting, so that just proved my suspicion.
Yikes! There sure are some bad therapists out there. Similarly to you, after my ex and I opened our relationship, we lost our good therapist (she was open to poly, queer sex, homeschooling etc) due to us changing health insurance. When I told me new therapist I sometimes got crushes on others besides my husband, she told me married people "should not" get crushes. Needless to say I didn't go back to her again! Please keep looking for a better therapist, open to alternative ways of loving. They are out there.

Meantime I was on a roll! We bought some toys, books, DVD etc. But after my wifes comment on "immoral", Ive just hung back now - I realise I need to give her time to come round.

I mean she was not pleased when I sent her a picture of a MFM 3some. I thought she might enjoy that fantasy. But alas, it was a mistake, and the bedroom has gone back to boring for now.

Originally Posted by bassman View Post

No, I'm completely atheist - too me, most religions are superstitious nonsense.

And you're right - I struggle to reason with her on those topics.
That sounds like a huge disconnect. Personally I could never be in a serious relationship with someone who didn't share my spirituality or political views. Seems like a basic for being on the same page in approaches to living and loving (and voting, of course heh).
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) together since 2009
My bf Kahlo (poly-friendly, M, 45) since August 2017
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's bf for 5 years
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