Hi everyone! I have to start by saying how happy I am to have found this forum. It's good to have an outlet. My husband and I have been saying the same things to each other, back and forth, and over and over, for quite a while. It will be good to get perspective from someone else.
We have been married for 11 years now. We're more in love today than we've ever been. It's a wonderful feeling. I see us as being beyond husband and wife. We've come full circle and arrived again at the amazing friendship that inspired it all.
Several years ago I came into my own as a bisexual woman. My husband has been very supportive. I've been free to have my own experiences. He's been free to join whenever my girl was willing. It's been fun!
However, we have both fallen madly in love with our best friend. She's been living with us for a year and a half. We've known and loved her for many years. This crazy affair started over 2 years ago. One night, after several drinks, we fell into each other's arms. Rolling and tumbling over one another for hours. There was no actual penetration, but everything else.
We laughed and joked about it for awhile. Then it happened again and again. Sometimes while drinking, sometimes the morning after. Now, it happens often enough that she sleeps in our bed most weekends. Sounds wonderful, right? Almost.
She just can't let herself go with my husband. She has once or twice in a moment of weakness. But there is a block there. She says she loves him, that she finds him attractive, he's charming and smart. All the things that she says she wants in a man. But she can't see him that way. Meanwhile, we're watching her go through a string of fellas that never measure up. There's a very standard formula to our relationship: She and I are always open to physical love. When she finds a boyfriend it tapers off but doesn't stop completely. As she gets tired of that guy she starts to heat it up with me more. Then, she starts letting my husband in a little too. If they get too close she'll fall back into the relationship she's unhappy with or (if she's single) she'll rush into the arms of the next psuedo-acceptable guy that crosses her path. Then, she distances herself for awhile just to start it all over again.
She has another habit that just adds to the frustration of the whole thing. If there is ever another girl that she might suspect of being interested in the two of us she reacts just as you might expect with jealousy. Making herself more available to both of us than any other time.
Now, I'm ranting I know. But, I'm relieved to find someplace where I can and someone might understand. My husband and I have been as open and honest as we could possibly be. We've kept nothing secret from her or each other. We just don't know what to do with the current situation. We all love each other very much. There is no doubt about that. There is just a sexual tension that's damn near unbearable. She wants me, I want her, I want him, he wants me, he wants her, she doesn't want him. That's how it boils down. Sounds pretty cut and dry. The problem is that she isn't always convinced that she doesn't want him. I've seen the desire between them, the passion in their kisses...
Goodness me. I think I've said enough this morning. Thanks for hearing it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.