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Old 09-30-2011, 01:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rory View Post
We also talked about the possibility of living in a poly household, and Alec has some boundaries about that (as I'm sure I do, too, I just don't know yet where they lie). Alec said he doesn't see himself wanting to ever live together in a household with all four of us. We talked about some hypothetical situations, and it seems that he could see himself living with a metamour, but not with a metamour's partner, no matter who they are. Also, he feels that 4 adults living in the same household would just be too much for him.
Didn't one of you start a thread a while back looking for feedback on moving in together?

Just my initial opinion, which really means nothing, but I think the part I bolded above is a bit strange, don't you? I mean, why does he feel that way, do you know? It just strikes me as a little odd that a metamour could move in but not the metamour's partner. What if your metamour's partner was also a woman? Would he be okay with another woman moving in? Does having another guy around seem threatening to him in some way? Hasn't he ever had a male roommate?

Sorry for so many questions -- I'm just curious!

I think, if moving in together is something you would eventually want, then a nice goal might be to try it for a vacation sometime in the near future. See if all four of you can swing renting a house or villa for two or three weeks somewhere, so everyone can see what it's like to live, cook, shop, and play together. That would be so cool!
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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