I thank you guys for your replies... I really just don't have my head on straight about this. I don't usually come to the internet for advice... I just needed a place to vent my feelings and see what y'all thought.
I think that I'm come to a resolution of some cognitive dissonance in that I've realized that I'm just selfish and have been deceiving myself about what I want out of these relationships. Maybe I'm too possessive to deal with what an open relationship really means. It's given me even more to think of.
But thanks in no small part to your candid replies, I'm going to just let it be and fix my own head first.