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Old 05-14-2009, 09:07 PM
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Danny40179 Danny40179 is offline
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Join Date: May 2009
Location: Central NJ
Posts: 241
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Vamp, four years ago my wife and I lost our first gf. I'm still dealing with it today. Quath is right in that the tools to deal with grief are pretty much the same whether you're in a poly or mono relationship. He's also right that you have to take time to heal and deal with things on your terms.

Everyone deals with grief differently, just know that there's no RIGHT way to deal with it. It's completely up to you. I will say that I ended up seeing someone and that helped. What worked best for me was when I got my memorial tattoo of her. (Warning, this is not suggested for everyone) She'll always be by my side. My wife has a tattoo of our gf as well which is great cause I can look at her picture anytime I want.

"Time doesn't take pain away, it only dulls the blade" When I realized that this was completely true, I was able to start the healing process. I felt that if I moved on I was forgetting her. That wasn't the case at all. It also helps to have a great support system. We were very fortunate that our current gf was there when our first gf passed away. We weren't together, but we were friends at the time. Our current gf never gets upset when I talk about our first gf, or even just sit and cry. She's amazing.

We also know that our first gf is around us all the time. All of us. We can feel her presence and know that she's watching over us. Know that your "lady love" (sweet) is always with you, in your thoughts and especially in your heart. She's your angel now, watching over you and your loved ones because she loves you and wants you to be happy.

If you ever need to talk, please feel free to drop me a line. Good luck and you'll get through things when you're ready to.
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