Thread: Triad Equality
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Old 10-29-2009, 12:19 AM
violet violet is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Nevada
Posts: 93

Originally Posted by Sunshinegrl View Post
I dont think Of my Marriage as my ring at all. To Me its Symbol of that commitment I made. That's why its important to me.
This is very much how I feel. I don't think that my ring is my ENTIRE MARRIAGE at all. I am, however, HUGE on symbolism. In fact, the idea of getting 3 rings for HMA, Anne, and I to wear was MY idea in the first place! It was a SYMBOL of our commitment to one another. It doesn't even have to be a ring. It could be a necklace, a tattoo, anything.

My ring is a symbol of the promise made to marry me, and when I have a wedding ring, it's a symbol of the vows I took. That symbolism is VERY important to me.

[QUOTE=ImaginaryIllusion;10426]All of this reminds me of a certain thread from a while back... I think it was this one:
where you will read:

There's also another item that came up about marriage in the poly context in a Yahoo group...which I'll cross quote's not going to answer the question posed by the OP...but it should provide something to chew on.[quote]

I saw that thread. We aren't trying - anymore, anyway, lol - to force our relationship with Anne into a form it wasn't meant to take. However, there are some things I'm just sort of unwilling to let happen. If our relationship with Anne is going to "grow" HMA and I's relationship apart, or make it take a different path, that isn't what I signed up for. We are all here to enhance one another's lives - not to grow people apart.

From Shamus:

I should clarify something about this, in that the post was not strictly about marriage or poly, but also about existentialist philosophy.
This is very much how Anne thinks. I don't. I can get my head around that way of thinking, but I don't agree with it at all. Especially the way of thinking that polyamory and monogamy are so different. In my mind, they aren't. Our triad is made of 6 separate but complementary monogamous relationships, as far as I'm concerned. Each of us as a person having a "monogamous" relationship with the other. I explained it to HMA last night, and it's a REALLY complicated way of thinking - but it's just how I'm wired. lol It's tough to get out in a concise manner. I'm not even gonna try any further than I have. Suffice it to say that polyamory didn't "reconfigure" the way I view love or relationships. At all. I definitely appreciate the input, and because it SO clearly defines how Anne seems to think, it gives me something to talk about with her. Maybe we'll understand one another better!
"No lover, if he be of good faith, and sincere, will deny he would prefer to see his mistress dead than unfaithful."
-Marquis De Sade

"Variety, multiplicity are the two most powerful vehicles of lust.."
-Marquis De Sade

Last edited by violet; 10-29-2009 at 12:25 AM.
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