Originally Posted by Magdlyn
It's a benefit of being poly that a couple can at least flirt with others, and openly check out hot people on the street, with little to no jealousy. I know some mono people can also achieve this openness, but it seems kind of rare.
Does your wife know you had phone sex with another woman? Did you tell her that, before you tried it with her?
In my book, having cyber or phone sex without one's primary being informed and cool with it, is cheating. Maybe others feel differently.
Hi Magdlyn, my wife knows the woman, knows we flirt on the phone, but perhaps doesnt know all the details of exactly what was exchanged. So I suppose it was and wasnt (so its on the cheating scale somewhere I suppose, hopefully not up there with full sex?) it did do wonders for our sex life, and I'd really like her to enjoy that same experience, (with someone other than me).
We are stuck at the moment - we went to counselling at my suggestion. I thought I needed help to carefully open up about my sexual thoughts. The counsellor didnt seem that interested in me, and when she just gave me blank stare after I said "I'd like to share my sexual thoughts with my wife". I kinda confirmed that. The stupid counsellor didnt even turn up at the next meeting, so that just proved my suspicion.
Meantime I was on a roll! We bought some toys, books, DVD etc. But after my wifes comment on "immoral", Ive just hung back now - I realise I need to give her time to come round.
I mean she was not pleased when I sent her a picture of a MFM 3some. I thought she might enjoy that fantasy. But alas, it was a mistake, and the bedroom has gone back to boring for now.