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Old 09-29-2011, 02:09 PM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
When you said earlier that you feel a lot more laid-back, egalitarian with Davis, do you think there's potential for a power exchange there? Bedroom only or more of a lifestyle thingie? I'm just wondering if it would feel forced, if vanilla would come more naturally.
It may well not be a fit. But I think it'll be fun to give it a try, in the bedroom to start. Outside of the bedroom we could negotiate trial runs, maybe just a day here and there. Maybe we'll explode into giggles and not be able to take each other seriously. I'm not going to try to force or codify anything, but I do believe that you don't always know what's there until you explore.

Gia and I talked about the idea of introducing that dynamic actively into our relationship, but that was right before she got pregnant, and once that happened she didn't have the mental or physical energy to put into sorting out how it would work. Domming can be an intimidating role and she's never actually done it before. So, we just let it go, though I still feel the urge from time to time to, y'know... drop to my knees and profess my undying loyalty and my willingness to rub her feet, fetch things for her, etcetcetc... and I might fantasize from time to time about her putting a collar on me...

She knows how I feel, knows it's a want not a need, is fine with me expressing it in little ways when I want to, and is open to working on it more once her life is less insane and our relationship is more reconnected and stable. And I am good with that.

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn View Post
Vanilla read this and sighed; "That woman is her gf and they get to spend a couple of hours together?! I would go mad."
Ugh, tell me about it. We've in no way found a good rhythm yet. Bee was born in late July and for the first month I was visiting them 2 or more times a week. But Eric was always there, of course... he took the maximum amount of paternity leave he could in prder to be there as much as possible, and Gia was housebound for a full 3 weeks. Then there was the big camping thing, and then not long after that I went on a trip, and then when I came back it was all rehearsals all the time for me. Gia went back to work early this month and now Eric has just gone back. They found a good friend who is experienced with kids and who needs lodging and happily agreed to help watch Bee during the 2 days per week they needed covered but it was a close thing there which was scary (at max I could've covered 1 day), plus their car just died... geez, it's even more crazy when I type it all out!

Since Bee is breastfed it's hard for Gia to be away from him for long, and Eric is in love with his child and wants to be with him too at every opportunity, so... when do Gia and I happen just the two of us (or three if Bee is there)? We've been stealing time in small increments for now.

Eric is working 10 hour days 4 days a week in order to have 1 day off to watch Bee, so he gets home late, and Friday is one of the days Gia doesn't work (she does a 3 day week), so I'm going to leave work a little early and hang out with her in the hours before he gets home. I would plan to stay the rest of the evening after that as well, but I'd previously promised Davis I'd join him for something later that night.

*sigh* All about the patience over here. I miss her/them like hell sometimes, but it's not like I don't understand why things are this way at the moment.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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