Originally Posted by btowntriad
Not sure if this is the correct forum for this, but I need some help/advice regarding our situation. My wife and I have recently entered into a relationship with our girlfriend. When I say relationship, I mean we have progressed things along to where I feel like she is not just our unicorn any longer.
A little history of our relationship........my wife and I have been married for going on 17 years. We've known our girlfriend for about five or six years now. She was a friend of some friends and we now realize there's been an attraction between the three of us since day one. We've never really done much together other than an occasional drink here and there and maybe some emails, etc. She has always had her own life. Being a divorced mother of one, she's had a difficult time with the dating scene and has been burned several times but guys just looking for you know what.
I cannot speak for my wife, but I certainely have developed intense feeling for our girlfriend. Perhaps it is because it's something new and exciting, but I just don't feel that's the reason. I feel like I genuinely care for and love her. When she has to leave, I miss her. If we don't see her daily, I can't stand it.
Oops. You said "we" when you meant "I," even when you said you can't speak for your wife!
"When I don't see her daily, I can't stand it." Saying "we feel this... we feel that," is from the mono mindset. What you do, as an individual, feel and want?
What does your wife feel and want? What does the GF feel and want? Start thinking of her an an autonomous person, not as a shared gf. Maybe giving her a nickname or using an initial here for both women would help. Not "my wife," "our gf." Individuals with unique feelings and needs.
Just this past weekend, I allowed the two of them to be alone together and afterwards, my wife allowed us to be alone. It was such a loving experience and to be honest, this isn't really all about sex, it's more emotional.
I really want to take this to another level to where our girlfriend and I can maybe go out on a date and likewise - they could too. I just don't know how to voice my feelings that I feel like there's a lot more to this than having a unicorn. I really don't feel like it's all about sex - I would perfectly happy laying in bed just holding each other!
Surely if you, your wife, and the gf have been friends for years, there is more to this than sex. You liked her before the sex started, and you still enjoy her company in the non-sexual realm. Dating her individually just seems to make sense to me.
When did you and yr wife start shagging Madame X? How did you all manage to make that work in the first place?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
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