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Old 09-29-2011, 12:21 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 4,283

Originally Posted by cuddlecakes View Post
Oh, it should be phrased: "No dating people in monogamous relationships" (= the other person is cheating)
Oh yes, definitely. If your partner dated a guy who was cheating on his partner with her, that is totally unethical and not in line with poly basics.


But yeah, there is also something like "People you date have to respect our relationship and at least be open to non-monogamy", which should not be hard to follow either.
We do have to look out for cowboys and cowgirls, people who seem cool with dating a poly person, but are really looking to get them away from their primary and into a mono relationship with them.

Meaning that before she goes on a first date with someone, I should know about it, and know what she knows about him so far. I should know whether they've been talking on the phone every day and flirting heavily, or that they've only written back and forth a few times and their messages are purely formal. It's not about what I know about my dates. It's knowing about the other person's dates.
Do you live with your partner? If you do, wouldnt you notice if she was IMing/phoning a lot or not? Wouldnt you just kind of gather how excited she was about this or that guy?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, poly, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, poly, 37
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