My roommates are wonderful people. Crazy, eccentric, geeky, helpful, supportive, smart, compassionate, wonderful people.
There's Eddie, a male-to-female transexual, and Liam, his husband. I met the two of them in college, introduced them actually. They've been together 6 years now, I was a bridesmaid at their wedding, and we've shared a household for more than 4 years. There's also Adam, one of Liam's co-workers, who's a liiiiitle *too* nerdy for me at times but who's a sweet guy.
I talked to Eddie and Liam tonight about my worries about Davis, and my confusion about my occasional negative outbursts. Their marriage hasn't always been perfectly smooth but it's stronger now than it's ever been, so I thought they might have some perspective. They listened to everything and in the end told me, in so many words, that, essentially, I should relax. They made a lot of sense and I found I felt more sanguine about things.
Eddie also suggested that Davis and I try adding some power exchange to our relationship (we've played around with top/bottom stuff and bondage, but no real D/s so far, certainly not outside the bedroom), just to see how it affects our dynamic. Eddie and Liam were always kinky but had never codified anything for the first several years of their relationship, and they found that when they wrote up a contract and Liam collared Eddie they were both a lot calmer and happier.
Afterwards I called Davis. He surfaced out of the worst of his depression in the last week, and it's been a great relief to see him genuinely happy again.
We chatted idly for a bit, and then I told him about the conversation with my roommates. I didn't mention the "I've been wondering if I should consider leaving you" bit, but I told him pretty much everything else. He seemed glad to hear that I was working on figuring out the things that have been rocky between us, and also agreed that shaking up our dynamics, sexually and relationally, could be fun and potentially fruitful.
At the end of the phone conversation, he said I love you and I said it back and felt it more wholeheartedly than I have in the last little while. Not giving up yet, definitely not.
An aside, for those who might be interested... I've referred to myself as submissive here before, mainly because that aspect of my sexuality/personality has been on my mind a lot since Gia brings it out in me so strongly and because the one other kinky thing I've had recently, with Harry, was geared exclusively to him being the dom. But I've seen myself as a switch in the past, and I could see going either way with Davis. No matter what, it should be interesting!