Self Reflection.. (Wasting Time Followup)
After taking some serious time to think about the opinions on mt previous rant thread (see wasting time" I realized I had forgotten some of the "basics".
1. You guys are right, this is not a competition or a race. - All of my closest friends are poly, naturally I started having feelings of being left out. But that isnt their fault, its just my feelings!! They still love me whether I was in 2 or 200 relationships!!
2. I'm not defective - I have quirks, but so does everyone else! The person who will enjoy those quirks may or may not cross my path, so I have to own them as part of me.
3. I am my own primary. I am so used to caring about what happens to the members of my immediate circle of friends that I routinely forget about me! I have been puting off things that I want to do, looking for a secondary is just keeping me from doing those things.
4. I am already pretty well off! I have a wife and friends who love me!
So in closing, thanks to my meltdown and this forum kicking my ass, I realized I should focus on me and be happy that those around me love me. I may never have a secondary relationship and I am okay with that.