Mark Morford article
10,000 secrets for a perfect marriage
...Living in San Francisco, it's required by law that I know couples who are way into polyamory, who swear that the key to making their central love relationship work is, well, to have a whole tasty variety of others hovering around to keep things interesting. After all, to assume one person/relationship can satisfy all needs and desires is as silly as assuming you'll only ever like one flavor of lubricant.
My poly friends join an even wider tribe I know who are deeply smitten with another book from last year called "Sex at Dawn," a "renegade" anthropological/zoological bestseller all about how silly little homo sapiens (that's you) are not actually designed for monogamy, that marriage is a massively flawed social construct, a byproduct of the agrarian age, the church, your confused grandmother. We're cavemen, really. Monkeys. We like to commune, share, screw anything that moves. (I might be oversimplifying a little. But not much).
And marriage for love? An even newer invention, really, and one that can't possibly be sustained. After all, love is fickle and volatile and blind and awesome and gorgeous and flames across the psychoemotional sky like a drunken comet. Depending on it for stability and security is like depending on the ocean for calm, clear sailing. Right? Isn't it?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
In a newish relationship with Steve, (34, poly)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 3 years