Rules to me are set in stone and will not be changed. Discussing and agreeing on boundaries means that we are all working together and that things might morph into something else as time goes on and circumstance changes. I prefer the fluidity of that myself.
As for what happens when someone breaks a rule? Well, that would be a deal breaker for me when I think of what I consider rules (ie. sleeping with someone unprotected and then having sex with me unprotected and not telling me). Then again, its all circumstantial really.
I think if a boundary is crossed then its a matter of getting back to the drawing board and hashing out what happened, the possibility of a change having occurred that warrants agreeing to new boundaries and working through the emotions that follow. I like to think that boundary breaking is not a deal breaker, but a cry for change or better understanding.
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