Im sorry to waste everyones time, but I was ranting. Am I envious, yes. I admit it. Do I think this was a terrible idea - yes and no. Yes, because having constant rejection really crushes my sense of self / No because my wife is happy. I have had some really shitty events happen because of this change. But, I also realize the potential happiness it may bring.
I dont really care at this point, what will be will be.