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Old 09-26-2011, 12:29 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,204

Hi Carebear, welcome to the board.

Originally Posted by CareBear View Post

Eventually, after MUCH discussion (and a little time), we decided that our relationship might have a better dynamic if we were to include another woman in our relationship as an equal partner.
I began doing some researched and found that there was actually a word for this -- Polyamory.
Actually, triads are a rare aspect of polyamory, for many reasons. Most poly people date/form relationships one on one.

What I liked most about Polyamory is that it can be dynamic; it is not the same for every person who lives it, which is why I thought it would work out so well for us.
Another (different) friend of mine decided she wanted to join us in our relationship, and it went very well for awhile; we were all very close friends, loved each other, and really just enjoyed having that closer relationship.

Eventually, she found a man she decided she wanted to be with in a monogamous relationship, and we were quite devastated. It was hard to try and not be heartbroken, because this is someone we trusted very much, and she essentially cheated and left.
And this is a common reason triads are rare. Most unicorns end up wanting something they can call their own, a partner they aren't expected to share every time they have sex, marriage, kids, etc.

Coming into an established couple as a third is HARD.

About a year ago, we decided we wanted to try again and find someone we could both be with. Obviously, it's very difficult to find a single woman who wants to join a relationship that's already established (a unicorn), so we're currently still searching for someone.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62) loving Pixie (poly, F, 40) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Seeing Kahlo (polyish, M, 45)
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixie's Dom/bf for 3+ years
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