Maybe you could address an email to both of them and tell them how much you like them both, how odd you feel sometimes, and what some of your hopes/concerns are, and then just see what sort of dialogue forms. Now that may well be way easier said than done for you right now, I know, but it sure might make things simpler and clearer.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.