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Old 09-25-2011, 09:54 PM
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MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Smack in the middle of The Spanish Revolution!
Posts: 483

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I don't want to lose him in my life. I love the support he gives me, how safe he makes me feel, how well we communicate, his eyes, his warmth. But if this isn't working for me, we should break up, right? [...] I just don't know. I want to believe that things just feel messed up right now because he's depressed, that we can make this work, but I just don't know. [...] I will *not* stay with him just out of fear for him, I know from past experience that I'm strong enough to leave, but it *does* scare me, the idea of leaving a depressed man. What if he hurt himself? Could I survive that?

Ah, Annabel! Have a huge hug

a) You're not resonsible for him. If this relationship is doing you harm, then the best thing is to end it.

b) BUT (and I want you to remember that I was strongly advising you against giving up your other loves [especially Harry] to appease Davis' discomfort with sharing you) maybe you're bailing out too soon? Have you really given it a chance? This isn't a poly problem. New lovers need time to adjust to each other (at least after the initial sex-mad frenetic early days are over). I know that Davis isn't new to you. but the situation is.

c) [Of course, MY choice would be that Davis could come to terms with poly (as in NO limits to Love), would actually be happier with that, and that Harry and you could reconnect. (I remember you writing that you were happy to give up the others, as you were feeling a bit overbooked anyway, but Harry was a special case, no?)]

Bloody helpful geezer I am, eh? yesnoyes. ping pong (The ball's in your court.)
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
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