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Old 09-25-2011, 08:17 PM
kayemm kayemm is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 1
Default Polyamory Dating Nerves

Hello! I'm new (to this forum and polyamory) and I would appreciate any advice about my situation:

My boyfriend and I recently (3 months ago) decided on a polyamorous relationship. We've been together for five years and were each other's first major relationship. We still love each other greatly and there's great communication between us. Consequently, one of things that came up was, even though we couldn't bare to part, we both lamented that we hadn't experienced anything outside of each other. To address this, we decided to try polyamory. Neither of us started to pursue anything off the bat as we expected relationships and other dating opportunities to come naturally.

Well, last night was the first time I was ...approached, haha. A friend of ours, who we had told about our open relationship previously, told me about his attraction to me and his desire to date me. I got very excited at first, since I am definitely attracted to him. After telling my boyfriend, he was also excited for me initially, though cautioned that since it was our first time venturing out of our comfort zone, that I should tread carefully.

However, right before he went to work today he mentioned that he is having some weird feelings. And, as the day progressed, I am feeling a little weird myself. However, I don't know how much these feelings are out of anxiousness to be back into dating after 5 years, knowing my friendship with possible-date may turn into something different, and my boyfriend's (and my own) trepidation about implementing our polyamory and changing our relationship.

I didn't realize initially that I would write so much! So, I appreciate you sticking it out and reading my story.
I guess my questions are - when any of you were beginning to branch out, how did you feel? Was it intuitive or did you have first-poly-jitters like I am? How did you move on from them, especially if you had a "primary" (we haven't used labels like that yet, but I most definitely see my boyfriend as my best friend and soul mate) with some of the same feelings?


Thanks so much!
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