Originally Posted by NumberFive
Further, the impression I get from the first woman is that while she doesn't think being with my wife and I is possible, she judges every man she gets involved with against my standards. This has ruined at least one of her relationships. If I love her, and I do, can I let her keep doing this? Do I need to "withdraw the invitation" so to speak, or distance myself from her somehow? If she can't be with me, I can't stand to make her unhappy. While every bone in my body wants to cling on to the desperate hope that she will have an epiphany and we can be together one day, the other part of me doesn't want to ruin what chance at happiness she might have without me.
This statement has me confused. Is you interest in her only about the sex? Why can't you just be her friend? How is being her friend and someone she admires ruining her chances at happiness? Many women judge their potential partners based on qualities they admire in other men in their life, be it father, brother, uncle, boss or best friend. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it just means that the ones she is no longer with, weren't what she really wanted. If you think she is doing something that is destructive to her, have a conversation with her.