Originally Posted by MichelleZed
I have to say, as a person in an open relationship, you probably don't want to do the DADT thing, especially long distance (I've also been in a long-distance relationship, but not an open one). You spend your time wondering what he's doing, what other girls he's seeing, how he feels about them, if he still likes you, etc. And then your frustration comes out in short, angry bursts of crazy, like you showed on this thread. I've been there, my friend.
Much better to have everything above board. That doesn't mean that you need explicit details, but that you need to know what's going on and who he's seeing. Then you can rest easy.
You are absolutlely right. The thing is... he's been more than willing to disclose everything, I was just afraid to ask. During our conversation stemming from this outburst, I told him I didn't think I had the right to ask what he was doing (for fear that it made me appear to not be able to handle the lifestyle). That's when he informed me that I have EVERY right to ask questions...
I had made up so many stories in my head about what he was doing and who he was doing and driving myself crazy. I have since asked him exactly what's going on, and it turns out a lot of my fears have been beyond irrational.
He considers me a SIGNIFICANT person, and we are in a RELATIONSHIP which means that if he wants to bring anyone else significant in, he will tell me prior to entering a sexual relationship with her. As for the "toys" i.e. women he is just fucking... it turns out that there aren't a lot of those as I feared. Rather, there's an ex-girlfriend that he sees from time to time or the fuck buddy that I'm dating.
It looks like I've had this wrong. After being cheated on so badly in my mono days, I am really pretty screwed up, and I was making him pay for the sins of others. He may actually be not-so-bad (but the jury is still out on that one)!!!