Originally Posted by Minxxa
I do need to really figure out what those needs are-- in concrete and very defineable terms-- in order for me to be able to communicate that to him. If I can't figure out what I need, then how can I expect him to meet it?
More often than not, I suspect, most of us (if not all) share a common set of basic "needs" in relationships. Rarely can any one person provide all of these needs, I suspect (though I suppose it can happen, sometimes).
My middle name is River. But my other middle name is Enthusiasm. I really enjoy being enthusiastic, excited, bubbly.... Well, this is a stark contrast with Kevin, my guy sweetie. He likes my enthusiasm, somewhat. But he rarely expresses a level of enthusiasm similar to my own--when I am enthusiastic. So when my gal sweetie (Faraway Sweetie) expresses enthusiasm on a similar level as my own, I get very -- you guessed it! -- enthusiastic about that! Example: We both really, really want to go horseback riding together. And we want to go to the Grand Canyon after camping at Chaco Canyon (See River's blog). Well, when she expresses excitement and joy about these plans ... I get doubly excited and joyful, which apparently amplifies her own exitement. Gawd help us!
Kevin is stable, steady, solid.... And I like that. I do. And he's a joy to be with and to share experiences with. He's just different from how Faraway Sweetie and I are when it comes to expressing feeling and excitement. I'm glad I can have both of them very close.
Anyway, among our needs in broad terms are...
-- We need to have certain qualities we have be reflected in a way that affirms these and allows them to amplify in a loving atmosphere.