Well the happiness discussion was enlightening for me.
Basically what I want is contentment. I want to be content with my life as a whole. I think that with that contentment in place, I can weather the storms that come and go, the bad stuff, the difficult stuff a lot better.
Right now I need to see where I'm *not* content, and take a look at why. I have a sneaking suspicion that the majority of my discontent comes from within and I'm going to have to go in there and tweak a few things.
I do know that some of it also lies within my relationship with hubs. I have not gotten my needs met in a long, long time-- in fact, some of them I've never gotten met from him. And yes, it probably would have been smarter to NOT choose to be in a relationship with somebody who wasn't capable of meeting those needs, but we're there and I'm not ready to give up on it or him yet.
I do need to really figure out what those needs are-- in concrete and very defineable terms-- in order for me to be able to communicate that to him. If I can't figure out what I need, then how can I expect him to meet it?
I do know that one need is more time (quality time where we are paying attention to each other, not just existing in the same house in separate rooms involved in our own stuff!) I need to figure out how to do that, though, and then make it happen.
Not today, though. Today I'm going to yoga and then going to my good friend's house for a nice girl-bonding dinner.