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Old 09-21-2011, 07:26 PM
Minxxa Minxxa is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 495

Originally Posted by dingedheart View Post
What does the fantasy of happiness look like in your head? It may look very similar to mine....and it maybe very possible to achieve ....over time.
I'm actually not sure what it looks like concretely. There's a lot of desire for safety and security-- things I think really aren't possible in life.

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
BALANCE - when we are constantly swinging from one extreme to the other it's constant chaos.

I have to monitor my husband's "giving" he will give and give and give until it takes it's tole physically and emotionally. He doesn't see this until everything at home falls apart because of it. While too much giving can actually get to be very selfish, it is still part of who you are and that should be nurtured. Don't forgo it completely.
Yes, I do need to balance more. I definitely can't see me being so selfish that I would STOP giving, I just need to think about it more and make sure I'm giving something I have the room to give, and should give and give for the right reasons.

Originally Posted by opalescent View Post
Happiness for me is a temporary state, like NRE in a relationship. Change happens and it evaporates. Contentment is a state that can be reached on a permanent, or near permanent basis.

When I have been content in my life, I have known who I am, who I am in relation to other people, especially my wife, understood our relationship and personal goals, and felt good that we were on our way to achieving them. I had work I enjoyed and a purpose in life - even if that purpose was not a grandiose thing but a small, personal scale one.
I am starting to really see that contentment is really what I'm looking for. Just some peace that I know where I stand with my relationships, and that I'm working towards things I want in my life. And also, maybe that I'm doing things in my life that I feel are worthwhile and/or enjoyable.

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
For me happiness is a moment where I feel no regrets of the past or concerns for the future. I am present and my body feels lite as though filled with a child's laughter.

Those moments in their purest form are very rare.
I love this, and agree-- happiness is more of a moment in time where nothing else exists except right now and the joy that is there. Contentment is the foundation that allows you to enjoy your life as a whole, even when things are difficult or trying.

I'm seeking contentment. Without that foundation, every difficulty feels overwhelming and like the world is ending. I need the roots to be able to weather the storms better.

And a few moments of joy and happiness would be lovely as well.
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