Thread: Turnabout
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Old 09-21-2011, 03:42 PM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post

Some things once they're broken are never the same again.
How true.

Well, they won't be the same, anyway. I have to figure out what I want. One thing I do know is, I don't want to live with someone who cannot be honest with me.

I don't know if I want to go forward in this marriage. Both mono and poly need honesty. We've both crossed over into lying to each other. I was honest about my relationship once we opened up. But clearly Sundance chose to lie both in poly AND now in mono!

Sundance said all he wants is me. Well, here I am, 100%, so why is he going off to be with her for two hours yesterday???? Then lying about it????

He's probably lying to her, too. I'm sure she thinks I've gone back with Butch.

WHY, though??? Why is he choosing to lie, when he could just say, "Honey, I want us to have an open marriage, afterall." Because he's so afraid SHE won't go along if SHE knows the truth? Annabel asked the same question. Why??? Why would he need a dishonest relationship with her???? If she loves him so much, and she knows he doesn't want to leave his family, then what would be the problem for her to know the whole truth? Besides, if she thinks he's back with her because I'm back with Butch, shouldn't that raise a red flag for her - "He's only with me to get even with her!"?

Someone said awhile back that maybe he is planning to leave the marriage, just needs to get some things in order first. I think he just wants to have TWO options, just in case one doesn't work out. Well, that doesn't show much faith in our relationship, does it? And if he doesn't have faith in it, it's gonna be pretty hard for me to carry it all by myself.

I'm going to read the article.

Thanks for your comments Minxa. Very helpful! I get really scared when he denies things when I call him out. I don't know, it's just freaky when someone can boldfaced lie to you. To protect himself? From what? He knows how I drink the truth down like water to a person dying of thirst!

Just realized honesty really IS the oxygen in a relationship.

No wonder I feel (PHYSICALLY) like I can't breathe!!!
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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