Originally Posted by IrisAwakened
He is good at talking with me, but he has issues with naming and defining the emotions that he feels. So we usually take a long time, trying to understand where he is coming from and what his major hangups are.
He is also of the school that if he tries hard enough, he can fix this.
Naming and defining emotions is tough stuff, but especially tough for men because they tend not to be conditioned to do it. Women spend lifetimes talking about their emotions and defining them with their friends so they have more experience. But often everyone can have trouble getting to the BASE emotion, the underlying one.
The part I put in bold I really understand-- I have always felt that way about things that I was emotional about, yet intellectually thought I shouldn't be. This, for me, is what causes the "back and forth" thing. I feel like I should be fine with something in my head, so I agree to it because it makes sense. But emotionally I'm not okay with it (for whatever reason), so eventually the emotions build until I freak out in some way. Back and Forth.
Talking about it intellectually is a good thing-- but you have to respect the emotional part, too, because it will come back and bite you in the ass if you don't!