I wasn't really updating much on my blog - it seems like there's nothing going on on the poly front... but its just that that the "goings on" are more of a personal growth, rather than an outward happening.
I've been trying to come to terms with where I am with poly. Am I poly? Am I monogamous? Am I a swinger? Am I open? Where do I fit?
A friend suggested Dan Savage's term "monogamish" might be more of a fit for me.
Before we go any further, yes, I get that there's no *need* to label things, but for me, it gives me a starting point, a frame of reference.
So I look for a label that works for me.
When I first embarked on a poly journey, it was because I had a crush on someone. I talked my husband into it (sorta - he can't really be talked into things, but it did take a lot of talking) and then he fell in love with someone else.
Their relationship didn't really work in that there was a LOT of things that were done "wrong" according to all things poly on this board. I can boil it down to simple NRE and 3 people who didn't know how to handle that with grace and dignity.
So that ended. And now almost a year after it ended, on our end, we've mostly healed, we're doing really well. In the time since we started our journey, I've not been in another relationship other than my marriage. I haven't found anyone that I want to be with, that I want to put my energy into, but I have made a lot of great friends.
So now, when I think about me being "poly" I wonder how it will fit with my life, and how I will make time for it. Then I realized, through derby, that if the right person came along and I was open to it, it would just happen. I would just make it happen.
So maybe monogamish is more of a fit than poly or monogamous. Or maybe I don't need a label at all.
I don't know.
I joined a queer group on facebook. For some, this may be a "yeah, so?" thing, but for me, joining an openly queer group in the town I live in will make people go... wtf? Its an open group on fb. Its not a closed or a secret group.
To close friends, and my husband and people on anonymous boards, I'm openly bisexual. To people who are not in the "know" I live the mainstream, happily married life.
So I've stepped out of my comfort zone.
I'm not going to proof read this - typing has been interrupted with conversation with kids & hubby so it may seem a bit discombobulated and disconnected. I apologize for that