@Carma -- Have you read this article on gaslighting? That whole "fickle obsessions" statement of his makes me feel like we're on the right track here, that's a really disrespectful way to talk about someone's interests... http://thecurrentconscience.com/blog...razy%E2%80%9D/
@NK -- Fair enough!
@Dh -- Ahh, gotcha.
As for what would count as compassionate fairness, well, I think there are two relevant questions. What do the people involved need from each other? And what are they able and willing to give to each other to help meet those needs? Carma needed poly, so Sun gave her that. Sun needed some emotional barriers between her and Butch, so she gave him that. Now Carma needs honesty between Sun and Barbie, but he won't give her that. Why? Is it because he needs a dishonest relationship with her? But he says he doesn't even care about her! And considering all the agony Carma has gone through because of the lack of honesty, I would certainly see honesty as a need. And it's not like he hasn't had time, this isn't a new situation. So what was the real motive here?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.