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Old 09-21-2011, 06:38 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

Hello, late to the thread here, but I thought that it might be helpful for you to do a tag search... you can do that from the search engine on the top right of the function bar. It isn't text book stuff to read here what others have posted. It sounds like you are in a mono-poly situation... or embarking on one anyway, maybe start with that.

I agree that adding new people to a couple who are not functioning well already will add MORE dysfunction rather than less. It might be an idea to have a good look at your reasons for staying together again before dragging some unsuspecting soul into your dynamic. I suspect that you are not wanting to hurt this person, so in spirit of making sure they have a good experience with you, I suggest doing what it is you need to do to figure out the logistics of what you need to see happen.

Last off. I have been discussing "gaslighting" on a group I write on and it might be helpful to read about it... I am not sure what is going on for you Baron, but it sounds like you and RS are in some kind of communication/emotional turmoil of mess. It might help to start learning about where that started and some ways to communicate differently. Here is a link on "gaslighting" Baron, for interests sake and as it seems it might be helpful judging by how you talk about RS. It might suit you to do a tag search for threads on communicating as well.

To be frank, if a therapist hasn't worked and you are that miserable then I think its time to throw in the towel, do some really heavy personal work and see what's out there in the dating world that is new after a year of two's time. It doesn't sound all that hopeful, I hate to say. Good luck.
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