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Old 09-21-2011, 12:13 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by kp98cru View Post
I'm certain I would start by us having our own place.
Kat, isn't that a rather huge step to take at this point? Granted, you've known each other a long time, and you have a friendship and know you love him, but you're not lovers or in a romantic relationship yet -- so why move in together? Why not live on your own and develop the romance without cohabiting? There are so many variables, it seems rather a rash decision to "get a place together," even if it is separate from his wife's. Is there a reason you don't want to live on your own and take it slowly?

Originally Posted by kp98cru View Post
. . . so what is the best way for me to move forward in asking him about our future? TIA
Have you figured out what you want? It sounds like you're leaving your future up to him to decide. What is important to you? How do you want to live your life?

As far as bringing it up, you just ask him. Really, all you have to do is ask questions and tell him what you want directly:
"How do you envision our future together?"
"Have you talked about this with your wife?"
"I want to meet your wife before moving forward."
"This is what I what's important to me..."

If he hasn't spoken to his wife and gotten her consent, are you willing to walk away from this? Or do you still want to do it, even though he would be cheating?
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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Last edited by nycindie; 09-21-2011 at 12:18 AM.
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