Originally Posted by Minxxa
A lot of the shit I read talks about mindfulness-- which I think is awesome but I suck at it. But trying to get to some imaginary future where everything is smooth is not realistic, and having that goal for so long I think has kept me from accepting how things are right now.
Things right now might not be perfect. I have sad moments, I have angry moments, but there are also happy moments. Maybe that's all I can really ask for.
Every moment of mindfulness practice makes one better at it. When one thinks "I suck at it" one is probably simply judging one's self for failure to become an Olympic competitor after five minutes of practice. One can then helpfully--but kindly--laugh at one's silly arrogance, and forgive oneself for it--, or, failing such forgiveness laugh at one's brutal internalized Drill Sergeant.
Sad and angry (etc.) moments come and go, but it is possible to welcome these within a growing internal field of happiness. And as this happens the sad and angry (lonely and shame-filled..., etc.) energies are transformed. They blow over more quickly in the welcoming of more and more everchanging moments. We get unstuck. Old patterns break up and dissolve, revealing ever new experiences and awarenesses.