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Old 09-20-2011, 07:16 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 1,376
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A,

Thanks for creating this interesting thread. Beloved and I are struggling right now and one of things we are trying to work through is what is a partner. (Partner for us means primary in this context.) Primary means that person and that relationship come first in my priorities - before all others. I'm good being a tertiary or secondary interest when I have my primary ducks in a row. Part of being a secondary in my world is that it is organized in part by not being a primary relationship - the two terms rely on each other to be fully defined. (This works for me - I know others do things differently.) So as long as things are defined well, and change when it happens is managed, then I do well as a secondary or tertiary. I understand the roles I play in other people's lives and I'm generally fine with that. I'm a switch - my sexual interactions depend greatly on the energies of the people I am interacting with - and that can vary greatly from moment to moment, day to day. So I doubt that submissiveness leads to better acceptance of secondary-ness although I also doubt that it would detrimental either. Likely neutral in the end.
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