Sorry to hear it's been a struggle so far. I have had the exact same thing happen with my gf at the time. She was open to it, and wanted to try it, but started harming herself (scratching skin open) during her sleep. It seems that sometimes even if a person wants to do something, the subconcious does not allow it. I know these are trying times, and you will need to find your own answers. Try to focus on eachother and the love you have, that is all that matters. The rest, go gradually, keep your partner first at all times. You don't want to loose her over this or have her constantly hurting. Baby steps - Love first.