Its hard work what you describe, for the hinge of a vee. Sometimes not work I want where my two men are co-pilots. Thankfully PN is not a co-pilot but a pilot of his own plane also. Mono is not my secondary, he has to pilot his own plane.
I do not want to be the controller or boss of anyone. I kind of resented that and still do. Secondary to me is based on money, assets and children. I don't want to be co-dependant with my partners and this kind of hierarchy breeds it more than in monogamous relationships I think. I personally would be wary of any partner who wants and upholds a heirarchy that is based on the one described in your post AnnabelMore.
The idea is to walk together, not be owned, bossed around, controlled or made to take no responsibility in ones life. Be very careful with this kind of dynamic. I fear it breeds laziness and lack of personal responsibility. Don't assume your shared love wants to be boss for the rest of her life. That kind of dynamic means she is not independent and if she is anything like me she may just end up feeling smothered and resentful.
Thankfully we made some changes naturally and keep the domming to the bed room. We all have our own lives and it works better for us.
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