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Old 09-20-2011, 07:22 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,723

So still no place for Mono... we have adjusted at this point. He (and I) come up stairs to eat, pee, have a glass of water, shower... it sucks, that part, as we loved our mornings of breaky in bed, showers after sweaty sex and getting up to pee in the night after a night of drinking. Not to be right now. Still, we have managed. He has made himself a nest of stuff, including his bed, so that I can have my space back and that is working... no sign of anyone ready to fix the mess. Apparently they are waiting for the insurance company to sign off on it.

I went on a date with Leo last week that was a nice time,,,, the same ol' pent up need to express ourselves as we see fit. To no avail and with the end of frustration. Life goes on... it will be three years soon. A bizarre thought.

I learned something about his wife though this time. Apparently she is struggling with our connection as much as (maybe not that much) Mono does. For her the issue is emotional fidelity, for him sexual fidelity. I guess its hard for her to see her husband close to another woman. I didn't know that. Guess it, but didn't know for sure. He says that even if we could engage in a deeper level of connection with each other there would also be the hurdle of helping her to feel comfortable also.

I had a date with my darling hubby last week also... we went to an alternative dance. There was a DJ from Australia coming and he was keen to hear them and dance to them. It was interesting to watch him float around the floor socializing with people I either barely knew or didn't know at all.

He talked with a woman he was interested in a bit who had ditched him for coffee a couple of days previous. I watched him sort that out with her and listened when he talked of his lack of interest as a result and that he had had a weird conversation with her. It obviously made him feel sad so I gave him lots of words of encouragement and lovin'. We had a great night and it was a relaxing dancey time.

On Saturday my beautiful Derby and I went out for a night of fun and frivolousness. We went to see the Big Lebowski, in a quote along version. We dressed up as characters from the movie and were in a competition for best costume... didn't win anything though. We had a good talk while we waited for the movie and had a snuggly time during. It was a really nice night. We hadn't been on a date in awhile due to vacations and summer business.

Mono had a reunion with some old friends this weekend that he ditched when his wife kicked him out. They were owners of a fight club that he was highly involved in for some time when he left. They were very accepting of his being at the party he was at and invited him back to work for them when he retires from the military. He was very excited but nervous... I hope it sorts out and he is able to at least be involved some way... he missed it! It was one of the first things he told me about when we first dated and has a tattoo from the clubs logo (he can correct me if I am wrong on that one... I can't remember how it related now).

I have to say I don't quite get the appeal of fighting. Well I don't at all actually. They train police officers etc. on how to handle situations of physical violence. I suppose that is valuable. I have been trying to incorporate the whole idea into my head in terms of how I see skilled verbal communication to be of importance. Its just not part of the world I have ever known, but I am eager to find out more.

Talk about a world of difference between PN's dance party and the party Mono went too! It makes me laugh. I am such a chameleon really. I can blend at many events.

So,,,, about me... hmm... not much to say on that. I find myself uninterested in reading and writing on the forum right now. Perhaps due to the high need to be elsewhere giving my support right now in several ways. I am glad to offer support elsewhere right now as I have had much from some of those that I am giving to. That is important to me.

I have been working on several projects and making plans for future events and fun stuff...burlesque included. I look forward to winter projects in this way. On top of that, I admin a FB group that demands a lot of attention sometimes and it wears me out to give it. Not in a bad way, but I am trying to respect myself and allow myself the time to increase my energy again as a result. I know many of you from there as I have added you. I so love that we come together there and are able to stay connected outside of this space.

Well, I have sat here staring at this for a few minutes, its after midnight, and I have nothing else to say. So that's it for now.... *hugs*
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