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Old 09-20-2011, 05:34 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
Actiually I don't dismiss anything. I take advice not ridicule which is something you are notorious for.
I never ridiculed you. I have made sincere efforts, in a no-nonsense manner, to point out behaviors of this guy's and yours that are detrimental to your well-being in this relationship. Others have told you the same things I have, and just as directly. Go re-read a few of the responses to your "Should I Say Something" thread. I am not the only one who has communicated harsh words to you that you needed to hear. Obviously, others beside myself felt you needed something to shake you up.

Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
. . .have you always been a cynical, mean person?
Nope, never have been cynical or mean. That's your perception. I guess you only want people to respond with very gentle, sweet answers. Maybe you should post in the Blog section, then, and not in the forum sections where debate and criticism are allowed.

Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
My goodness! CHILAX!!!!
I am very relaxed, thanks. You're the one posting in caps and exclamation points, LOL.

Look, whenever anyone reads my posts, they should just imagine me sitting next to them with a firm but tender hand on their arm, giving them a tough-love approach, with a look of concern in my eyes and a soft but assertive tone of voice. I don't sit here spending all this time answering posts on a fucking message board because I don't give a shit or just want to be a douchebag. I have better things to do with my time and energy than to yank people around. Anything I say comes from a place of concern and caring.

Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
I'm sure you are very well versed in Polyamory, but your negativity has exceeded my threshold . . .
Nope, not well-versed in poly. I only pointed out things that common sense in any relationship would tell me. I was never negative, I was just holding up a mirror (so to speak) by mentioning things that it seemed you were doing that were working against your benefit, or issues that would be helpful to look at.

Originally Posted by Tinyblu View Post
As they say in the south where I'm from. If you can't say SOMETHING nice, don't say anything AT ALL!!!!!
Well, I'm from NYC where we tell it like it is, and don't waste energy prettying up the reality of a situation for people. Relationships are hard, poly is tricky. You can't be a southern belle about this stuff. You got yourself in a situation, complained about a lot of it, and didn't seem to acknowledge many of the responses you got. If you've found it helpful to come here, I am truly glad. I hope it keeps getting better for you, though I have a feeling that you won't realize there are plenty of good men out there while so focused on this one. You say you are learning to communicate more effectively with him, so that is a really great move in a good, healing direction.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-20-2011 at 09:14 AM.
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