Thank you, AT. Gia is still a person whether I call her my girlfriend, my wife, my primary, my secondary, my boo, my snugglebunny, my life partner, my lover, my amorata, my Domme, my Lady, my baby momma, or my piece on the side. They're all just words, though some may be more accurate or loving than others. What matters is how I treat her.
Why get so worked up over the simple question of what word is best to use? Of course I treat her like an individual. Of course I see her as a human being. Of course I love her, not a word. Of course I don't think I own her (though, er, in a D/s sense I wouldn't mind *her* owning *me*!). Giving our relationship a name doesn't make it less and it doesn't make it bad. I can always change the name later if I want. If *we* want. Describing is not defining.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.