great essay, and as a Mother of 4 kiddos, I can relate to that concept. I think part of my problem is that I had long ago realized that for me Will is utterly completely unique and irreplaceable, and if he left it would break my heart in a way beyond all my other heartbreaks and leave that hole no one else could fill or fix... but I didn't see myself as being just as unique and irreplaceable to him. I've been working on that this past weekend, trying to step out of my shoes and see through his eyes and his perspective and asking him questions about his feelings. I needed to shift my view to see that his love for me is just as great as mine for him and he sees my superhero soul and is completely truly in love with me, and that no one else can take my place.
But that doesn't mean that others cannot add to our lives... something I read in another thread that really helped me was the analogy of apple pie and chocolate ice cream. Apple pie is my absolute favorite and I love apple pie and I would never want to be without apple pie, but I also enjoy chocolate ice cream, neither one can replace the other... and since I'm bi... extra yummy if we can have apple pie with chocolate ice cream