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Old 09-19-2011, 10:14 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,718

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
Avoid "Why" questions as they tend to put the other person on the defensive. I guess it also ties into the "I" vs "you" statements.

"Why does this subject make you so upset?" vs "I'm struggling to understand your depth of emotion to this subject!"
changing "why" into "how" seems to help; "why do you feel this way, "how is it you have come to feel this way." Doesn't always work though. Also changing "but" into "and"... "But I love him too," and "And I love him too.."
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