So you had an online affair that torn up the foundation of your marriage 2 yrs ago and now pitching poly didn't go well .....not really hard to believe.
Marriage of 11yrs ....a kid or two ....love my husband but ..... sounds like case restless heart syndrome.
I started a thread about this very topic a few months ago....
No you are not selfish to want more in your life....but I hope you realize this "more" will come at a price....how big a price is dependent the players....all those in the household.
Good luck to you D