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Old 10-28-2009, 12:32 AM
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ladyjools ladyjools is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: scotland
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its not a case of me wanting M more than montianboy,
i dont' love him more, but i do love him

i can have any other man on the planet that wants me, but i am in love with M, and i tried to cut him out i managed no contact for a year and it drove me mad,

i realised that i cant do it, i can't even explain why i can't do it but i just cant it hurts me too much,

i am prepared that i may lose montianboy,
i don't want to lose him, but i understand that i might
i do have faith that we can work through this

M is not a bad person he like me made a mistake, regrets it and is willing to do whatever it takes to regain montianboys trust, but i do not begrudge montianboy his feelings, because the mistake we made was so bad that we deserve those feelings,

i seem unable to change how i feel about M
so i have to try something diffrent even if it means i lose montianboy,

Jools
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