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Old 10-28-2009, 12:32 AM
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LovingRadiance LovingRadiance is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alaska
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I figured it out who he was from your post on my thread. Sorry for the confusion!

Anyway-yes I do know what that is like. I moved away and spent many a night puking in a freaking outhouse bathroom (no I'm not joking about the state of the bathroom) over the whole disaster.

I love Maca in ways I can't possibly explain (which is part of the problem for him) and I definately never want to see him walk out our door. I see us together in old age and I see myself holding him in my arms as he makes the peaceful end to his life here on earth.

BUT-I'm not the innocent "vanilla cracker" that he hoped I would be.
I'm not even sure how he came up with the idea I ever could be. I wasn't when we met and he knew that. He certainly didn't know EVERYTHING-but he knew I wasn't that.

Just remember-this isn't a game of all or nothing. This is life and sometimes life MUST go one tiny step at a time, not just one adult step at a time. When someone's heart has been broken, their trust annihilated, their ability to progress decreases and they have to start back at tiny steps. Like a person who was in an accident and lost the ability to walk, first you work on building muscle in the legs (rebuilding trust between the two of you), then you work on their self confidence in themselves (reaching out to the world as a whole, not M), then they get to try their feet so to speak with the bars on both sides of their body (building relationships w/others, not M), then as they get better with the bars they progress to walking with a walker (talking to M MAYBE) and IF THEY ARE LUCKY THEY GET TO WALK AGAIN, but no guarantees (M).

It's not something you can even say WILL happen. You do the work, you see how far it gets you. Each step is an accomplishment in itself, but no step is a guarantee of reaching the last step.
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