Thread: sex questions
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Old 09-19-2011, 06:34 AM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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First of all, this is an old thread... I don't necessarily think the same things now.
Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I guess I feel that sex is false way of bonding. Good sex can make you feel like you have a deep emotional bond, when in fact you simply have good sex.
nope, not for me. This is your personal experience that you get to own it. Please realize that this is not the case for everyone and might be worth finding out about the next person you sleep with that is new to your bed. I have been very damaged over this assumption. Sex is bonding to me, end of story. Good sex or crappy sex, I see it no other way at this time. Perhaps that will change... I dunno. My sex life is assume as a result, so I doubt it will any time soon

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
Sure, I've never had whatever profound/spiritual/bonding sex RP is talking about. But, frankly, I don't want to. It doesn't sound appealing at all. I would not be remotely comfortable with a partner who wanted that kind of thing.
Well then. We won't be getting it on any time soon then will we

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
I certainly feel that other aspects of my life include profound emotions, spirituality, and bonding with people I am close to.
Most definitely. I totally agree. I find the same things.

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
However, I am VERY selective about choosing lovers. Partly because sexual attraction is pretty rare for me. Mostly because I don't want to hurt anyone or end up with someone whose views are totally different from mine.
I'm glad to hear this... If only more people would be as empathetic to those they fuck and find out what their connection is to sex and connection.

Originally Posted by MeeraReed View Post
When I was with someone who viewed sex as playful, fun, relaxing, and casual...I found fulfillment and liberation.
But my point is, negative assumptions about the person who wants to play around aren't helpful.
Absolutely not helpful, but sometimes negativity is the scum on the top of a larger pot of boiling fluid.... it needs skimming off and throwing out and I have done that I think...I am fulfilled and liberated as a result of knowing that I don't have to give to others who like to have sex as play only. I personally know myself better having discussed at length on this forum about the naive assumption I had that everyone was like me. I realize that I am not like everyone, and that is just dandy.... takes all kinds to make a world.

@MeeraReed- Thanks for sharing your story and your differences. I'm sorry if what I said offended you in some way. The fact is that we are just different and that is that. I hope you work out some of the stuff you feel you need to. Its a tough road to discovery, but worth it... at least I have found. I am the closest I've been to having a perfect sex life having figured myself and others out.... I hope you get their too and enjoy whatever that brings
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