Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
[COLOR="Red"]You talk like our whole relationship has been a disaster because I fell in love with someone else.
But I never fell out of love with you. Not for one second in a random single minute of a short single hour of an unmemorably boring single day, in that stupid week we forgot about, that random year of our decade+ together.
I fell in love with someone else as well. I needed support through some of that negative b.s. But I didn't leave and though I didn't do it all quite right-I stuck by you and pushed myself to keep growing and learning so I could continue to do it better with each passing day.
You see my love-I see the glass as half full. I look upon your heartbroken, frightened face and even when I'm so damn mad I want to scream, I see your precious heart.
I see it glowing in your face and feel a longing once again to join it with mine.
You feel threatened and fearful, like maybe you are missing some key piece of me.You figure if I give my love to another then I must have less when I come to you.
You say "X gets what X wants and you get what you want but I only get what's left over."
Is that really how it is? Because somehow it doesn't feel like that at all to me. I guess we're not acting in the same movie or hearing the same song.
He holds me in his arms telling me he loves me, reassuring me that all will be well and holding my Hyde at bay.
He brainstorms how to help your every minute problem when he could be immersed in play.
He spends his days creating the peace that means so much to you when you come home at the end of the day.
He spends his life devoted to loving you though you refuse to love him too.
He's given up his world to be the one who can make me the woman you need me to be....
So what exactly is it that you think you lost? I fear you have it backwards in your beautiful little head my love, because the truth is that he gives you all he's found in life, he doesn't take anything away. I have so much more to give you because he's there to carry some of the load.
That cup my dear is precious to me and if it matters not to you because you think it's half empty-then maybe it's me who is only getting "what's left".
But what's left is a treasure to me and I'll take what's left, please don't throw it away.
You can look for a lifetime for the glass you want that's full.
This half-full glass is exactly what I want and need
I'll keep it if you please!
What you said here resonates deeply. I think a lot of this is how HMA has been feeling toward me with everything I'm feeling toward Anne. I THINK it gets out what he's been trying to tell me the last couple weeks. If that's the case, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping me get a jump-start on understanding.
...I still don't get it all the way. But it helped.