I think also, if you want to build a dating site for poly peeps, you have to stop thinking of poly as a specific lifestyle. I know you are probably bringing your swinger mindset into this idea, where it is considered a lifestyle, but there are so many ways to live polyamorously that it would be very limiting to think of it as one lifestyle or for only certain kinds of people. Besides, tons of people who have never even heard of the word polyamory engage in non-exclusive relationships. They shouldn't have to feel like they're subscribing to a certain lifestyle to be ethically non-monogamous.
I have found that OKCupid works really well for me. It's full of poly people, but I don't even call myself poly on my profile for them to find me. And most of the non-poly folks there that I've met are either cool with non-monogamy or have heard of poly. Polymatchmaker hasn't been a success for me, just basically because there are so few poly guys on there whom I find attractive and most NYC profiles, it seems (at least, last time I logged in), don't even have pictures. But I do check it every now and then.
I believe there are other threads here about starting new poly dating sites. Have you done a search?
Last edited by nycindie; 09-18-2011 at 07:56 PM.