I'm a part of a polyfi quad. How we got there or chose to be closed? Well, I'm not sure I can tell you exactly since I'm the only one who didn't think we needed to close things up.
I'll admit that it has helped cement the new relationships and made sure there has been plenty of time to work on the old ones.
This wasn't something we were looking for. Tech and Kitten were closer to it than us because they were looking for some good friends to swing with. They thought they'd find all they were looking for in 2 or 3 couples. Not everything in one. Gator and I were not looking for that much of a serious relationship. Friends was ok to a point.
Then Gator and Kitten fell in love. Fast forward a bit to the other three not even wanting to swing any more. Majority ruled on that. And we've been exclusive ever since.
I haven't had each of them be able to truly explain what their reasons were but here's my take. None of us expected this. None of us were prepared for this. And the new couples were not secure in their trust in one another the way they were in their marriages.
There are varying degrees of whether we should open up at all. I'm fine with it. Be it swinging or another poly relationship for my men. However, time management would be what I would have to have the biggest discussion about and where I would need boundaries. But I'm the only one who has assured anyone that they are free to do this. I just want to know before they search.